First relationships are hardest to forget. All incidents come back to you like a flashback when you even read or hear ‘first relationship’. Do you remember the first time you started talking? It’s the time what started you and your love. It was your first crush, first love, first kiss; but you wished it wasn’t your first heartbreak!
You devote yourself completely to this one person. There’s a spark in your eyes each time you saw your love, radiance in your smile like never before. It’s true that ‘a red nose and love in your heart can be seen easily’.
Even though the reality is right in our faces, we do all we can to make it last. We compromise, adjust and do everything it takes to be together. Even the idea that things aren’t working as they’re supposed to hurts. We fear a breakup like death. Breakups are terrible. But you need to remember some points to ponder and understand why it didn’t work? Introspection is necessary so that you don’t repeat the same old mistakes.
Need help? Here are the most common reasons which tells you why do first relationships don’t work well!
1. We’re young and stupid
Mistakes are committed when we’re young. We want to try everything, do all crazy things without even thinking twice. One of those things is getting in a relationship!
First relationship generally starts when you see that this one person understands you the best and you fall in love with him/her. You start spending time together but you don’t realize ‘what next?’
You are extremely serious for this relationship and think that you both will stay together forever. But does it really happen? No. As time passes in your relationship, you understand you shouldn’t have said a yes to this at the first place. Why? Because we were young and stupid!!
2. We love the idea of being in love
Nowadays, relationship starts really early. At the age of 15, you might be having two or three breakups. You feel a strange urge to be in love. You need someone desperately. Maybe, it’s just puberty effect.
When you see a person you really admire, you’re like “I want to get in relationship” without even thinking twice. Later you commit a stupidity!
Many a times, it’s more of a rat race to get in relation. When all your friends have a girlfriend, you too should have one. And just have a random pick for something as pure as love. Pity!
3. Love or infatuation?
When you fall for a person, what do you see in him/her? Maybe good looks or a sense of understanding or a fabulous sense of humor. Is this your description of love? Love is more serious than this.
But as we’re young and stupid at that time, we think its love. You may get the same qualities in someone else, and you then fall for some other girl/boy. This is infatuation, not love.
And here starts the reasons of fights. You cheat on your first love in some way, you get jealous, there’s no trust left between you; and you end up with a horrible breakup. End of chapter ‘first relationship’.
4. No idea of future
You try to adjust and compromise to make this relationship work. But at that age, we actually have some other priorities. We have to study, make a living and slowly, we can’t give time to love. Maybe you have to go out of town for making a future. You still think, we love this person and long distance relationship really works.
But they don’t. A relationship that you carried on for so long, a love that excited you once, no more adds any value to your life. You can no longer relate to them, no longer hold conversations. The romance fades out and all you’re left with is the uncomfortable silence.
You’re no longer that naïve teenager who knew nothing about life and relationships. You realize they’ve grown up into someone you never thought they would. You’ve changed too, so much that you’re almost unrecognizable now. You grow up. You grow apart.
5. Incapable of handling serious commitments
It was your first and you were totally clueless what to do and how to handle situations?
Some of them are so crazy in love; they wish to break all kinds of barrier between them. They elope with each other or even get married at a very young age. Later, they realize that they actually can’t live together with nothing to survive on.
Some may indulge into sexual activities and end up getting pregnant. Neither the girl nor the guy can take care of this. You freak out and end the relationship immediately.
Sometimes, when things don’t work, some become suicidal. Cutting your wrist will set all things right?! Fabulous logics! No comments on this one!
There are only a few people who married their first. Why is this so because you never know for certain whether your first is “the one” until you have actually tried more than one. If you are old enough or have matured enough to know what is out there, then maybe it will last. Otherwise, it probably fails more than it lasts.